Motivate Yourself When You Don’t Feel Like It

The football player has it easier than we do on this one. His motivation is his desire to be a starter. Other factors can play into that. Maybe he wants more money or a better contract, or more security. Or maybe he just wants the fame! That's cool. Why not? That will sure get a guy off his butt in pursuit of it!

For us (business owners), it's a bit trickier. But we can start by setting daily goals. Be realistic. You can reach five potential clients. Maybe not 25!

In football, the coaching staff provides these goals for him. But a smart coach also provides another motivator: a reward. So, motivating yourself also means rewarding yourself.

I love watching television. I've always loved it. When I started my business, I worked from home: a studio apartment. The television was right there in my “office” and I made marketing phone calls during the commercials. Today, I would never think of turning on the television during the work day. However, I am still the same person motivated by the same things. I set a goal of a certain number of calls and appointments and promise myself my favorite TV show, which I've TiVo'd, providing I meet my goals.

You need to discover what motivates you to make the calls, to do the discipline. It may be an afternoon movie, a day at the park, or a massage. Be careful if you just thought about Haagen Dazs. For some of us, ice cream is a double-edged sword. It might not be so rewarding long term.

Most of the time, you can be enthusiastic because you like what you do. But what if you don't feel like it one day? Then, what do you do?

You fake it.

You fake it ‘till you make it. It's the only way to conscious competence. This is the discipline part. What about the mornings when you get up in a negative frame of mind? Before I get out of bed in the morning, I prop up (so I don't fall back to sleep) and ask myself these five morning questions:

• What am I excited about today? Look out; the first things your mind will come up with are all the negative things you are not excited about: making the call to that person, writing that report. Thank your mind politely for sharing and ask yourself the question again. Eventually you will come up with something, even if it is: “Today is Friday.”

•  What am I proud of today? This involves looking back into yesterday's activities. Your mind will want to bring up regret, something you should have done, if only you could have done. Definitely not something you're proud of. Again, politely thank your mind for sharing and ask the question again. Remember, it can be as simple as being proud that you helped your secretary with the phones while she finished a project.

•  What am I grateful for today? More is better on this one: counting your blessings can chase the blues away.

•  What am I committed to today? This is where the rubber meets the road. You will measure your results at the end of the day. This can be challenging. Some days you just don't feel like doing anything you “should.” Sometimes the commitment is simply to do it anyway and “fake it till you make it.”

•  Who loves me? Whom do I love? I know these are two questions. I like them together. They wrap up your self-motivation session on a very upbeat note.

By the time my feet hit the floor, I have “hit the ground running.” My head is in a positive place.

In the end, convincing yourself to get started, even when you don't want to, doesn't have to be pretty. So what? Everything doesn't have to go exactly the way you see it in your mind. The process is allowed to be ugly. Football players know this as well as anyone. “Whatever works” is often heard on the sidelines. There are no points given for neatness or etiquette or style. A sloppy win is better than a pretty loss.

So even in these ugly times, someone has to score a win. Might as well be you.

  

Mimi Donaldson is the author of Necessary Roughness: New Rules for the Contact Sport of Life (2010) who empowers and assists people in realizing and achieving their full human potential. A renowned speaker, trainer and author, she’s been presenting at Fortune 500 companies for more than 20 years, energizing and motivating people on stress reduction, time management, leadership and communication. A Masters graduate of Columbia University, she previously worked as a Human Resources trainer for Northrop Aircraft, Rockwell International and Walt Disney. Mimi is also the co-author of two previous books, Bless Your Stress: It Means You’re Still Alive! (2006) and Negotiating for Dummies (1996). Visit http://www.mimidonaldson.com/ or call 310.557.0229.